Meet Candy Alton Brown!

Isn't he cute?  Alton Brown is a TV Chef and cookbook author most famous for being the zany and brainy scientific host of "Good Eats."  He explains all the amazing scientific reasons behind what happens when you cook so you actually understand what you're doing and don't do crazy things like call your mom and ask her how to fry a frozen chicken--oh, come on, I can't be the only one who's done that, can I?  Alton Brown is so smart that even if you just turn on his shows and don't pay complete attention, you just can't help soaking up enough braininess to convince your friends you're a verifiable kitchen genius.  For instance, you'll know how to pronounce words like "osmotic" and "conductive" and "membranes" and be able to use them in a sentence.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have to stop racking my membranes about Alton Brown and go osmotic a conductive baloney sandwich, I'm emulsified!

But first here's an interesting tidbit about Alton--he started out as a professional cinematographer!  I love cinematography, too, especially on toast!